The third tip on how to feel grateful when you can’t feel gratitude is to talk to someone. The first part of this series briefly mentioned talking to someone, but let’s get into a bit more depth.
Talking to someone sounds really simple, doesn’t it? But it can be incredibly hard, because sometimes you genuinely don’t have anyone you can talk to about this kind of stuff. You might have many friends or acquaintances, even people who love you, who just don’t get what you’re going through. Or maybe you just haven’t told them because you’re so busy pretending to be fine.
Maybe your family members just want to hear you’re okay or doing something awesome and don’t dig deep – and you keep it that way because you don’t want them to worry, or worse, feel sorry for you.
You could be completely alone, and lonely, with no one to talk to. Or you might have a partner or housemate who can see the signs, but they don’t know what’s going on, and they sure as hell don’t get it. They just want you to “snap out of it.”
If you can’t feel grateful, you sound ungrateful
Your family, friends, co-workers or acquaintances might get annoyed with you because you sharing that you don’t feel grateful makes you sound pretty ungrateful – and maybe you have a lot of good things in your life you technically should be grateful for. You need to find someone who knows what you’re going through.
Here are three ways you can do this:
Blue-footed booby Success Formula: Start to feel grateful by finding someone to talk to
- Join a support group*. It could be a suicide helpline or depression support group (even if you don’t feel suicidal or don’t identify with being depressed) or just an online themed community. You’d be amazed at how many people in these kinds of groups share the same issues as you.
- Consider working with a life coach or psychologist
- Open up to someone you trust
Just remember that you need someone who gets what you’re going through. And then hash it out with them. Talk about those feelings and don’t pretend to be better off than you are.
If you can’t summon the energy to do this, don’t worry. Go back to the journal, scribble, lyric idea in part 2 of the series: Feel the feels when you can’t feel grateful. Something vaguely decent might come out of it, or maybe it will be horrifyingly bad. But at least you’ll be DOING something.
Feel grateful that you’re feeling something
This might seem contradictory but remember that if you can feel any of the following: anger, guilt, fear, anxiety, sadness, resentment, irritation, frustration, etc., you’re feeling something. And feeling something is something, isn’t it? It’s something to be grateful for. Because if you can’t feel anything at all, you could be in a worse place. So, maybe that irritation or guilt or whatever isn’t a great feeling, but it is a feeling. And that’s the first sign that you’re not as bad off as you thought. Another glimmer of hope 😊.
Let us know if you tried this and it helped you. And if you’re starting to feel grateful for something, share in the comments below or shoot us an email.
Q: Where do I find a support group?*
A: There are a bunch of helpful resources to help you do just that. Check out this article from Very Well Mind for a list of support groups. There’s an app called Wisdo, with themed communities to discuss anything from anxiety and loneliness to relationship advice and how to build self-esteem – you can also set goals or become a helper or mentor to users going through similar experiences. You could even search Meetup to find virtual support group listings alongside their social meetup groups where you can find others with similar interests and hobbies.
Q: I want to find a professional I can talk to. How do I start?
A: Search for registered psychologists with current and confirmed credentials on credible websites such as www.goodtherapy.org or www.psychologytoday.com. You could also work with a life coach.